A Matter of Trust
by Mychand
Summary: Just a short little Cait and Hawke story. Tension is high when Cait is forced to do something drastic and beyond her full control.
1. Chapter 1

**Airwolf: A Matter of Trust**

**Part 1 of 2 **

Hawke heard the gunshot. It was such a loud pop sound that he and Dom nearly jumped out of their skins because they were not expecting it. The two men ran to the outside of the hangar to find out what was going on. When they rounded the corner, Hawke stopped short for a moment to take in the horror before him. Caitlin and his girl friend of six months, Lisa both on the ground, covered in blood. Caitlin was sitting with a gun in her hand. She stared up at him with tears welling in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry," she replied. "I just…."

Hawke couldn't hear her. His mind was focused on Lisa. He ran to her and cradled her in his arms.

"Dom, call an ambulance," he screamed as he tried to comfort Lisa.

Caitlin stood slowly and made her way over to the hangar. She was afraid to look at him but her eyes darted towards him. The look of disgust he gave her broke her heart.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered before running inside.

The place was suddenly as flurry of police and ambulances along with Michael and his people. Lisa was a government informant and the Firm had a vested interest in her. Caitlin was whisked away for interrogation and Hawke followed Lisa's ambulance after being told he wasn't allowed to ride with her.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Back at the Firm, Caitlin was given a change of clothes and allowed to shower before meeting with Michael. She was growing more and more depressed with the chain of events that had occurred. She was quickly ushered into his office where she sat down right after Marella joined them.

"Great job Cait," Michael said with a smile. "My sources say they bought her death. She's on her way out of here and to the witness protection program. You should feel good that not only have you helped give Lisa a new life but you sealed our deal with her. She gave us some pretty interesting information concerning St. John."

"At what cost?" she replied softly. "Hawke thinks I killed her. I'm pretty sure he was in love with her. Will he think it was all a good trade when he finds out the truth?"

"He can't know the truth just yet," Michael warned her. "It would blow everything we've been working on, including our chances to possibly find St. John."

"Michael, you knew I wasn't happy about all of this when you first came to me," Caitlin replied angrily. "I only did it because Lisa begged me and I wanted Hawke to have a chance at finding his brother."

"It all went down successfully," Marella reminded her. "You should feel good."

Tears slowly welled in Caitlin's eyes. "How can I feel good knowing that Hawke hates me," she replied. "He thinks I killed the woman he loved. How do I face him?"

"You don't," replied Michael. "Not yet anyway. We'll rule what happened as justifiable, of course but you need to stay away from Hawke for awhile. We can't risk him knowing just yet. He'll demand we tell him what we know about St. John and he might jump the gun."

Caitlin took a deep breath and stood up. "I want to know what you found out about St. John and I want to know now," she replied.

Caitlin's comment took Michael by surprise. "Okay, okay," he told her. "I guess you deserve to know what we found out."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Hawke sat outside of the Firm's clinic and stared up into the sky. He couldn't make sense of what had transpired. He had enjoyed the six months he'd spent with Lisa. They had gotten close and slowly he was letting his guard down with her.

"String," Dom said softly as he put his hand on Hawke's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"No," he replied angrily. "I can't believe it all ended this way."

"Look String, the report I just got said that Lisa pulled the gun on Cait," Dom carefully informed him. "They struggled with the gun and it went off. Caitlin never meant to kill her."

Hawke stood up and pulled away from Dom. "Damn it Dom," he yelled. "She hated Lisa and you know it."

"Oh come on String," replied Dom. "You know that's not true. Cait wanted you to be happy."

Hawke took a deep breath. "She was jealous," he whispered. "I want her gone. I don't want her to ever come back to the hangar again."

"String, you can't mean that," Dom said sadly. "She doesn't deserve that."

"And Lisa didn't deserve to die!" he yelled as he climbed into the red, white, and blue jeep and took off.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Marellla took Caitlin home later that evening. She walked her up to her apartment door before leaving.

"Are you going to be okay?" Marella asked. She couldn't help but to be concerned about her.

"No, but don't worry," replied Caitlin. "Maybe time will help me find some clarity in all of this."

Marella gave her a slight smile. "Okay," she replied. "If you need anything you know where to reach me."

Caitlin opened her apartment door and sighed. "Thanks," she replied before going inside and shutting the door behind her.

She threw her keys on the table and turned on the kitchen light. It felt like an eternity since breakfast that morning and she hadn't eaten since. Caitlin felt her stomach rumble but she was too squeamish to eat. She knew that she had done the right thing in helping out Lisa but she couldn't help but feel sad about how it was affecting Hawke. The last thing she ever wanted to do was cause him pain. She loved him. She knew it and she figured he did too. But, still, she stepped aside and didn't let on how much his being with Lisa bothered her. Maybe that's why she did it," she thought to her herself. "I was selfish. I wanted her out of the way. It's true and Hawke will see it that way even if she isn't really dead."

Caitlin opened a cabinet door and pulled out a glass. Slowly she poured herself a glass of milk. She felt that she needed something in her stomach before going to bed. She drank it slowly before heading to her bedroom to change. She put the glass on her night stand and sat on the edge of her bed. "What am I going to do?" she asked herself out loud.

"You're going to tell me the truth," Hawke said angrily, startling her.

"Hawke, what are you doing here?" she asked as she jumped up off of the bed.

"I want to know what happened," he demanded. "I know Lisa would never pull a gun on you."

"And I would?" she asked him sarcastically. "You think I wanted to kill her?"

"Maybe," he replied in a short tone. "Weren't you jealous of her and all the time we were spending together?"

Caitlin shook her head. "It was the other way around," he replied. "I thought you knew me better than that."

"I'm beginning to think I knew Lisa better," he said as he grabbed her by the wrist. "Come on, you're coming with me."

"Let me go," Caitlin screamed as she tried to pull away from him.

"Not until I find out why you had to kill her," he demanded. "Let's go."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Caitlin sat quietly after Hawke pulled her into the Santini helicopter and took them up and towards a destination she was unsure of. She watched closely and tried to figure out where they were headed but after awhile her mind drifted and she lost focus.

"How can I admit that it was all a rouse," she thought to herself. "I can't tell him the truth or it might jeopardize everything. But how can I go on letting him believe I'd do this to him?"

An hour later, Hawke slowly landed in a small valley. To her surprise there was a tent and a campfire set up just outside of it.

"Where are we?" she asked.

"Let's just say it's a place that no one can find us," he replied. "No one can trace us here or pick up any kind of signal. I accidently discovered it awhile back. I figured it might come in handy one day. So, if anyone is trying to bug us, they won't hear a thing."

Caitlin studied him carefully. "What are you saying? Why are we here?" she asked apprehensively.

"To get to the truth," he told her, his tone growing angry again.

"I told you the truth," she replied, trying to figure out a way to pacify him.

"Fine, you want to play it that way," he replied. "I'm going inside the tent. The sun is going down and it will be pretty cool out here. If you decide you want to tell me the truth, come inside and join me."

Caitlin sat down on a large boulder just to the right of tent. She shivered as she watched the sun slowly disappear over the horizon. Her heart ached to tell him the truth. She wasn't sure exactly what he wanted her to say. If he thought she killed Lisa, what could she say? Could she admit that she was jealous? Would he believe the story that Michael fabricated about Lisa being jealous?

Caitlin sighed. She had no choice but to go along with Michael's story no matter how much she hated it. The last thing she wanted to do was to hurt Hawke more but it was all Lisa's choice and she had to continue the charade.

She slowly unzipped the tent flap and crawled inside. It was larger than it appeared. Hawke had set up a double blow up bead on one side and two lawn chairs on the other. He was sitting in one of the chairs waiting for her.

"Have a seat," he told her after she came in and zipped the flap closed.

Caitlin slowly made her way over to him and sat. She couldn't look him in the eyes. It pained her too much.

"Tell me what happened," he demanded. "Why would you shoot her?"

"She pulled the gun on me," she lied. "She said she didn't trust me around you. We struggled with it and it went off. I never meant to kill her."

"You're lying!" he yelled as he got up, grabbed her by the wrists and pulled her to her feet. "Tell me the truth! What is really going on?"

Caitlin stared at him. He was holding her wrists so tight it began to hurt. "What makes you think that's not the truth?" she asked, trying to hold her emotions together.

"Lisa became my best friend," he finally said as he released her wrists. "She knew everything about me. I opened up to her and told her things I hadn't told anyone else. She wouldn't do that to you. I know she wouldn't."

"So you think I initiated it all?" Caitlin asked, her hands suddenly beginning to tremble. "I thought you knew me better. All I've ever wanted was for you to be happy. If that meant with Lisa then I would have supported you."

Hawke stared at her. He couldn't help but be angry because he knew she was lying to him. "You've never lied to me before," he finally admitted. "I know Lisa is still alive. The blood I saw was faked. Why? Tell me what's going on!"

Caitlin was shocked by his questions and what he knew. "What are you talking about?" she asked.

Hawke shook his head. The anger inside him was growing but he didn't want to unleash it all on Caitlin. Something told him what was happening was beyond her control.

"Damn it Cait," he replied. "No one is here but the two of us. You can tell me the truth."

"You don't want the truth," she finally yelled back. "You never have."

"What does that mean?" he asked while grabbing her wrists again.

"Let me go Hawke," she replied. "Take me home. You can't keep me here and I'm not scared of you."

Hawke pulled her closer to him. He could feel her shaking. "Aren't you?" he asked softly. "If you aren't afraid then why are you shaking?"

Tears began to stream down her face and she finally gave in. "She wanted to go into the witness protection program," she replied softly. "She begged me to help her. I asked her why she would want to leave you and she said that…."

"She said what?" he demanded.

"She said she didn't love you that way," Caitlin replied in a near whisper as she left the tent.

Hawke followed her outside. The wind was picking up slightly and the breeze gave him a chill.

"Take me home Hawke," she insisted. "You got what you wanted."

"No, I haven't," he replied. "Not yet."

"You wanted to know the truth," she replied. "Yes, she's alive and yes I helped stage her death."

"Why?" he asked bluntly. "Why would you help knowing it would hurt me? What did they promise you?"

"Lisa promised a lot of things to Michael and the Firm," Caitlin replied. "She had some information on St. John."

"Yeah, she told me," he replied softly.

"What?" Caitlin replied angrily. "I put our friendship at risk and you already knew the information she claimed to have? I can't believe this."

"Our friendship was never at risk," he finally admitted. "I figured most of it out in the beginning. I thought it was best that I play along. I'm pretty sure we were being bugged at the clinic and the hangar. I thought it was best to make whoever was listening think I was upset."

"Wait, you said there was no bugs here," she replied angrily. "Why were you acting so angry with me?"

"Because you've never lied to me before," he replied. "I don't like it and I'm angry at Lisa for making you do that. I didn't know they'd use the information on St. John to get to you. She knows that….."

Hawke's voice trailed off. He wasn't sure how to proceed with the conversation. He had it all worked out in his mind how this would all go down but he was losing his nerve.

"She knows what?" Caitlin finally asked.

Hawke moved close to her. He grabbed her arms and pulled her to him, kissing her softly on the lips. Startled, she pulled away and stared at him.

"Take me home Hawke, I'm not your consolation prize," she replied in a near yell.

"I never thought you were," he replied softly. "You've been my main focus for a long time. That's what I was trying to tell you. That's how I knew what happened was a lie. Lisa and I were just friends, nothing more. She knew that I'd know. I guess she convinced Michael otherwise. I'm not sure why. Maybe he wouldn't go along with it any other way."

Caitlin stood and stared at him. She wasn't quite sure how to respond. She'd been played by Lisa who had no intention of lying to Hawke. She thought back to the conversation they had about Hawke and it all finally made sense. "She really didn't love you like that," she said softly. "Now I get why. But why play this game if she knew you'd know the truth?"

"I don't know," he replied. "I guess she thought I'd talk her out of leaving. Maybe I would have. I just don't know."

"Take me home Hawke," Caitlin said again. "This is all just too much for me to handle for one day."

"No," he replied as he moved back towards her and wrapped his arms around her. "It's not safe. If I can sneak in to your apartment unnoticed by Michael's people, so can Lisa's enemies. I'm not taking that chance."

"It's my chance to take," she insisted. "Not yours."

Caitlin felt her heart racing as he held her tighter. She couldn't get his words out of her head. She had been his focus? Why? What did he mean by that? She wanted so badly to learn more but fear took over. "He was right," she thought. She was afraid of him. She had been hiding from her feelings for so long that the thought of him feeling the same way scared the hell out of her for some reason.

"This can go down the easy way or the hard way," he insisted. "But there is no way in hell you are leaving here tonight."


	2. Chapter 2

_Due to the lack of time to write, this was originally supposed to be just a one shot. But, it took a different twist and came out a bit longer than planned. I am working on a follow up story called "Favor Returned". I hope to have that up during the Thanksgiving holiday._

**Part 2 of 2**

Caitlin pushed hard against his chest and Hawke let go of her. His mind was racing. There was so much he needed to tell her, so much he had regretted not sharing with her all these months. But, he couldn't. It wasn't that he didn't trust her, but he had to keep it all to himself. Michael knew and it angered him that Caitlin was used as a pawn behind his back. Hawke knew what was going down when he saw Caitlin and Lisa covered in blood. It broke his heart that Lisa chose for it to go this way. He had hoped she had changed her mind and would stay a little longer. Just long enough for….."

"Take me home Hawke," she insisted further. "I just want to go home."

Hawke stared into her eyes. "I'm sorry. Please stay," he whispered softly, electing to take a softer approach. "I really need to talk to you. There's something you need to know."

Caitlin moved over to the chair and sat back down. Hawke joined her in the other seat.

"Look, I'm sorry I was so angry with you," he replied, realizing that he had no choice but to finally be honest with her. "It wasn't fair for me to take this all out on you. It's not your fault, it never was. I'm just so angry at Lisa for leaving this way and Michael for dragging you into it."

Caitlin stared at him, unsure of what to say.

"As you know, Lisa is painter," he continued. "She was commissioned to work for some pretty dangerous people. The problem was she overheard quite a few things that she wasn't supposed to hear."

"So that's why she needed to leave," said Caitlin bluntly. "It makes sense. So why did you pretend to have a relationship with her?"

Caitlin nearly held her breath waiting for his answer. She had hoped all along that they were not a serious couple but after six months, she had given up hope.

"It was to protect her husband," he replied while watching for her reaction.

"Husband?" she replied, unable to hide the shock look on her face.

"He was working undercover with the very same men she was running from," replied Hawke. "They just didn't know the two were connected. He was working for the Firm. She told me that her husband wouldn't give them the information they wanted and wouldn't continue his job unless she was safe. So, she stayed with me. It wouldn't make sense for her to be there unless we were a couple."

"How would they know if you were or not if you stayed at the cabin?" asked Caitlin while still taking in all Hawke was telling her.

"It's a long story but the cabin is bugged," he replied. "We just always made sure we put on a good show when we were in there."

Caitlin stood up and walked outside of the tent. The image of them even pretending to be a couple bothered her. Hawke followed her as she stood looking at the clear, star filled sky.

"Why couldn't you tell me?" she finally asked. "Why lie? Does Dom know the truth?"

"Yeah," he replied sadly. "He does. But there's more to it."

Caitlin turned and looked at him. She studied his face and the sudden pain that seemed to radiate from his eyes. "Does this really have anything at all to do with St. John or was that just Michael's way to get me involved without telling you?" she asked.

Hawke sighed deeply. "It has everything to do with St. John," he finally admitted. "Lisa is St. John's wife."

For the first time in her life, Caitlin found herself speechless. Now it all made sense.

"Oh my God Hawke," she replied. "Where is he? Did you get to see him?"

"No," he replied sadly. "She promised me she wouldn't leave until she convinced him to come and talk to me. She broke that promise when she had you pretend to kill her. I had no choice but to act like I bought into it because not doing so would have put Lisa and St. John's lives at risk."

"I'm sorry," she replied softly.

"No, I'm sorry for dragging you out here," he replied. "I was so angry at you for lying to me and for not trusting me and coming to me about what was about to happen. I guess I had hoped she would have told you more to convince you but I guess just thinking she had information on St. John was enough."

"I would have done anything to help you find your brother," she replied. "I thought I was helping. I had no idea that I messed things up for you."

Hawke sighed again. "Now they are both somewhere out there and I'll probably never see them again," he replied, trying hard to hide the tears welling up in his eyes. "I just wanted to see him one last time. He was so close and now he's gone again."

Caitlin shivered as the temperature began to fall and the breeze picked up. "Take me home Hawke," she whispered, trying to hold back her own tears. She suddenly couldn't bear to look him in the eyes. If only she had told him what was going to happen. Now, she felt that she helped to ruin his only chance to be with his brother.

Hawke pulled her into his arms but she tried to pull away. He held her tighter. "Cait, it's not your fault," he assured her. "Yeah, I was upset but you had no idea. You thought you were helping. I appreciate that."

As bad as she felt for not being honest with him, she suddenly felt betrayed that he wasn't able to trust her either. Her mind was racing and all she wanted to do was to get away from him so she could get her thoughts together.

"Please take me home," she begged. "Please. I can't do this right now. I just want to go home."

"Caitlin it's not safe," he insisted.

"What are they going to do Hawke?" she asked. "I supposedly killed someone who they wanted dead. If anything they'll want to thank me."

Hawke shook his head. "I'll take you back to the cabin," he replied.

"I thought you said the cabin was bugged?" she asked. "How will that help?"

"Then we'll put on our own show," he told her as he grabbed her by the hand and pulled her towards to helicopter.

"What?" she asked. "How will we do that?"

"Just wait and see," he replied.

Hawke quickly started up the helicopter and within minutes they were on their way back to the cabin. "What about the tent and all?" she asked.

"I'll come back for it all another time," he replied. "It'll still be there."

Caitlin sat quietly as they headed towards the cabin. She wasn't quite sure what kind of game Hawke was going to play when it came to his home being bugged but she trusted him enough to know it would be okay to go along with whatever he came up with.

As they landed on the dock, her nerves suddenly got the best of her. Hawke could see that she was looking a little pale.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Uh, I'm fine," she lied. "Exactly what are you planning?"

"Don't worry, I'll be sure it give you an out if you don't' want to play along," he told her. "Do you trust me?"

"Yeah," she said sadly. "I wished I trusted you sooner and then maybe things would have turned out differently."

"I can say the same," he assured her as he grabbed her by the hand and helped her out of the helicopter.

The two were quiet as they climbed the steps and entered the cabin. She looked at him and waited for him to speak but he didn't.

"So, we're here," she replied. "What is it that you wanted?" she asked coldly, hoping this was how he wanted to play things.

"I told you what I wanted," he replied. "I want to know the truth about why you had to kill her."

Caitlin stared at him, unsure of how to answer. "She was the one who tried to kill me," she replied. "I was just protecting myself."

"You were jealous of her," he yelled. "Admit it!"

Caitlin bit her lip as he moved closer to her. "Okay, maybe I was," she replied. "But, I'm not a killer. She was jealous of me."

"Yes, she was," he replied softly as he grabbed her and pushed her against the cabin door.

"What are you doing?" she asked nervously, unsure of what exactly was going through his mind.

"You were right," he replied. "She never loved me. She was using me because she knew I loved someone else."

Caitlin nearly lost her breath as he moved his body as close to her as he could get and stared deeply into her eyes.

"You can walk out of here right now or prove to me that her death is best for both of us," he told her.

"What?" she asked shocked at first and then it seeped into her brain that Hawke was just putting on a show for the bug.

"I'll stay," she whispered before he leaned in and kissed her passionately.

Caitlin felt her heart race as she thought again about what he had said. He had told her she could leave. "Was that the out he had mentioned?" she thought. "Why would he bother to give her an out if it were all pretend?"

Hawke pushed her harder against the door and she suddenly felt his hands begin to move down to the edge of her shirt. Slowly, he pushed it up and then pulled it off of her.

"Hawke?" Caitlin whispered.

"Shh.." he replied, putting his finger on her lips before reaching in again and kissing her so deeply that it took her breath away.

"You were always my focus," he replied softly as he gave her a slight smile, hoping she'd understand what he meant and what he wanted.

She stared at him a moment trying to allow what he had said to seep into her brain. Then, taking a leap of faith, she reached and began to unbutton his shirt. He helped her remove it as he pulled her over to the sofa. Once there, he quickly moved to undo her bra before pushing her down onto her back, kissing her softly as he did so.

"I want you so badly," he finally admitted. "Please tell me you feel the same way."

Caitlin answered by smiling and reaching down, unbuckling his belt.

He slid the belt off and stood up. "Let's take this upstairs," he told her. "I don't want to do this down here."

Caitlin couldn't believe how comfortable she felt. Here she was standing before Hawke, topless and things never felt so right. She loved him and she had always hoped that he felt the same way.

"Okay," she replied as he took her hand and helped her stand. Before heading to the stairs he stopped and picked up small vase. He turned it over and she watched as a bugging device fell out. Hawke quickly stepped on it, demolishing it. Then he took her hand and led her upstairs. Once there, he took another vase and once again dumped out and demolished the bugging device.

"I did a sweep awhile ago," he told her. "It was just these two."

Caitlin's heart nearly leaped out of her throat. "What this all part of the rouse?" she thought.

Suddenly she wrapped her arms around her chest, covering herself. "Oh, I guess the charade is over then," she said as she moved to go back down the stairs.

"Caitlin!" he nearly yelled. "Wait." He jumped in front of her, keeping her from leaving the bedroom.

"The only part that was a charade was you killing her," he said softly. "Were you acting when I kissed you?"

Caitlin couldn't stop the tears that were now forming in her eyes. "No," she replied softly.

"I wasn't acting either," he assured her. "I love you Caitlin. You and St. John were all Lisa and I talked about. I wanted so badly for him to meet you. She promised me so much. If only…."

Caitlin pulled away from him again. "If only I had come to you and let you in on what she had planned. Maybe you could have stopped her."

"I wouldn't have been able to change her mind," he replied. "I can't change what happened. As we were flying out here I was thinking about that. At least I know St. John is alive and he has a wonderful woman by his side. Now it's my turn to be happy."

Hawke grabbed her by the arms and gently led her over to the bed. "Let me love you Cait," he said softly. "I need you."

Caitlin wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him on the lips before moving down and nibbling on his neck. In turn, he grabbed her around the waste and pulled her down with him onto the bed.

"I love you too," she whispered. "Tonight, I'm all yours."

Hawke smiled. "I was so hoping that you'd say that."


End file.
